43 Years in 43 Sentences

In a previous blog post, I said I was dating myself.  In this post, I genuinely am…by revealing my age <insert shocked face emoji with fine lines here>.  Here are snippets about my life across four decades and change.

  1. As a Valentine's Day baby, I ruined the holiday for my mother (I learned this at 41).
    Baby Laurie Snooping
    Baby Laurie stole Valentine's Day and presents.  Such a scamp.
  2.  If I tweeze my eyebrows, I sneeze minimally four times in a row.
  3.  I have a baby tooth that never fell out, so the Tooth Fairy owes me a dollar plus inflation.
  4. I don't have a college degree, but I'm three degrees separated from Kevin Bacon.

    College Hilarity.JPG
    I didn't show up to my college classes, but I left a 30-minute message on a guy's answering machine detailing sensitive male body parts.  #HigherLearning
  5. I accidentally stole a magazine from the college bookstore.
  6. Instead of coming clean, I put the money for the magazine in a random place upon my next visit.
  7. I know this was for naught, but that is how I dealt with the situation…25 years ago.
  8. I once worked security at a NASCAR event at the age of 16.
  9. I didn't allow a top TV announcer into our Media Center, and he moved me out of the way to get inside to interview Dale Earnhardt.
  10. The guy was doing his job, and I was doing mine.
    Races
    Although the TV announcer wasn't a fan of mine, this race publication writer was (even if he misspelled my name.)
  11. Throughout my childhood, my mom not only gave up Valentine's Day but let me have cheesecake for my birthday.
  12. I rarely eat cheesecake as an adult.
  13. I loved and ate Fettucine Alfredo often as a child, but got scared straight when it was labeled “heart attack on a plate.”
  14. At 40, I learned that my sister was paid $100 to take me to my first New Kids on the Block concert.
  15. My sister informed me that she would charge well over a $1000 to go to a New Kids on the Block concert with me now.

    I Love New Kids on the Block
    I found this gem in my childhood bedroom a few years ago.  My love for Joey McIntyre was REAL at the age of thirteen.
  16.  At the age of five, I kicked my adult neighbor in the shin when she told me I looked cute in my bikini.
  17. I Silly String'd my childhood dog and had to cut all of the evidence out of his fur when it dried.
    Laurie and Scruffy
    Scruffer de Duffer, you didn't deserve the “Silly String Incident of 1984.”  I love and miss you.  Is it just me or did Scruffy and I have the same hair/fur color?
  18. I was an a$$hole as a child.
  19. Growing up, whenever we played “Goonies” with friends, I was “Sloth.”
  20. At 15, I was afraid of getting contacts because I thought I would poke my eyeballs out.
  21. I have contacts now, but never let my fingernails grow too long because I still don't want to poke my eyes out.
  22. I bit my nails until the age of 25 but quit as soon as I got my first professional job.
  23. Before my professional job, I was a clown, a dancing theme park character, and a waitress.
  24. As a waitress, I hated it when• guests would leave dirty diapers behind on the table.
  25. Seriously…who does that?
  26. To this day, due to my past as a server, I still tip 20% even when service isn't sniffing at lackluster.
  27. I don't consider Disney lackluster as I have been so many times that I've lost count.
    Disney Ticket
    Check out this relic!
  28. I was denied a kiss during a “Kiss Cam” moment at an NBA game.
  29. I was married to the guy at the time.
  30. We are super duper divorced.
  31. My father was a Burger King Franchisee.
  32. I joke that instead of a silver spoon I was born with a Whopper in my mouth.
  33. I just told my fiancé the name of this blog post.
  34. He responded, “You're 43, so that makes me 44?”
  35. When I responded in the affirmative, he kicked his leg in the air and said, “YEAH…I thought I was 45!”
  36. I do what I can to keep the man happy.
    Chaffeur
    I once picked up Jared from the airport wearing a chauffeur hat.  Amazon is a treasure trove of stuff that you wear once or twice just for fun.
  37. I slept with covers over my head until the age of 11 due to my fear of the Boogeyman.
  38. I used to “Polar Bear” at my parent's camp in Maine as a teenager.
  39. I now live in Florida, so when I visit Maine during cold weather (60º), I look like the younger brother all dressed up in winter clothing from A Christmas Story.
  40. My favorite shops are Amazon, Etsy, Anthropologie and local home goods shops.
  41. The # of Amazon orders I make each year grows between 10% to 25%.
  42. I'm pretty sure the UPS guy thinks I never leave the house.
  43. If you are still reading this, you are loyal and I think I love you.

Does this remind you a bit of the “25 Things You Don't Know About Me” that US Magazine publishes?  Yeah…me, too…

I would love to learn more about all of you!  If you would kindly leave a couple of sentences (or as many as you would like to share) in the comments that would be oh so rad.

Work Hard.  Play Hard.  Drink Chard.

Laurie

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53 thoughts on “43 Years in 43 Sentences

  1. “As a waitress, I hated it when• guests would leave dirty diapers behind on the table.” Who doesn’t? Anyways, I read all the way to 43… and I love you too! 🙂

    1. It happened more than once! I want to be pampered. Not “Pamper’d”

      I love you more!!! 😍

    1. Hahahah!! It was the original Poltergeist that scarred me. It’s so crazy how movies can get so into our heads!

  2. Hey, I didn’t just get paid $100, I earned it. Tweens were getting crushed up against the barrier. I do believe that was the last general admission show at the ballpark.

    1. That concert was crazy and so much darn fun (for me). I would definitely say you earned the money since you had to stand through music you despised. 😁

  3. I read til the end! 😘 I used to ask my mom to close my door and I didn’t want any light coming in my room since I was 6! Bizarre right? I showed sheep, played a saxophone in marching band, and was a cheerleader in high school. I sandblasted aircraft parts to put myself through college. Love your blog!!

    1. Wow!!! Isn’t it funny that we were both comforted by complete darkness?

      I’m trying to imagine sandblasting aircraft parts. I envision really loud noises and particles flying everywhere. Am I close with my visual??

      The blog loves you right back! 😍❤️

      1. It was loud but drowned out by the propeller engine being run on the “test cell” (room built out of super thick concrete to test the aircraft engines after repair or overhaul) so I had to wear those noise blocking earphone looking things. I had to wear a mask because of all the black carbon dust. And it was hot because we didn’t have air conditioning in that part of the shop. It was a dirty job.

      2. Wow!!!! I just bowed my hands to you for doing that job! You must have had to go through a LOT of body wash after each day’s work. Dang!!!!!

      3. Yes and having black snot daily despite the mask! Thank you!! I just did what I had to. There’s a great story with that job that will make it into my blog eventually…it’s tied to husband #1.

      4. I can’t wait to read the story!!! Did you sandblast the divorce decree?????

      5. I would have liked to…but sadly you need those things for every legal thing you do for the rest of your life!! It’s a wart that just stays with you!

  4. My birth name was Peggy and my first husband made up a ditty that went “ It’s Peggy with an E not Peggy with an I, cuz Peggy with an I spells piggy. He loved that ditty. I changed my name to Monica before I married my second hubby. He wisely stayed away from name ditties. We’re still married.

    1. Ohhh…Momica! I belly laughed so hard reading this that Jared came running into the Lady Parlor to see what was going on. You are a gem! I can’t wait to see you!

    1. Hi, Mum! I once did a series of activities for a birthday year – 34 things for my 34 years. It was really fun. If you do make a list, I would love to read it! Cheers!

    1. Hi!!! I had tried everything from sitting on my hands to the gross tasting nail stuff. Once I was in a corporate office, I didn’t want anyone to see my nervous habit. That actually helped me stop. I should have gone corporate at the age of five!!! 🤓

  5. It’s great that you remember so much of suffs xD. Anyways, this is such an interesting and creative writing style. I thoroughly enjoyed reading your journey till now. God Bess!!!

    1. Hi, Sulav!!! I am so glad that you enjoyed reading! God bless you right back!! 👩🏼‍💻❤️

  6. That was one of the most creative, genuine and fun posts I’ve read in a long time. I can relate to some of these memories (covers over head). Omg if you are on amazon 24-7 I am now an influencer — I sure can use your input when it comes to products you and others love. Cheers to more posts like this 😉

    1. Hi, Astrid! I would say that I have bought pretty much everything and anything via Amazon. Most recently a doggy stroller for my elderly puppy. 🐶❤️

  7. Haha! Funny. I’m working at the restaurant as a waitress too but our tips goes all to the cook. I remember many things when I was a kid and makes me giggle. But I miss those moments. How I wish I could turn back time and spend more time with my family. Thanks for sharing

    1. I have never heard of a restaurant in which the tips go to the cook!!!! I hope they make you dinner and lunch on the daily!!!

  8. I can relate to the frustrations of a waitress and YES! had diapers left on table – agree who does that? Your dad was a burger franchise – cool loved the phase grew up with a whopper in your mouth. Loved the post, very entertaining.

    1. Hi, Tina! I am glad you loved it!

      I will never understand the diaper on the table thing. If they had asked how to dispose of it, I would have mildly been grossed out. But a tip and a Pamper? No thank you.

  9. Haha…learning about you in the post is awesome. This is very funny, especially that you sneeze four times in a row while tweezing and also that you bit your nails till 25. I think we sail in the same boat since I also quit that just some few years before.

    1. Thank you so much, Ally! It was a fun one to write, but I’m afraid of all of the sentences I will have to pen in the very near future!!!😁

  10. Who would not want to read a very interesting post like this right? Well I suppose your age was now revealed. I was able to read it until the last number, I love you too.

    1. Hi, Princess Quinn! My age is revealed. However, my weight will forever be a secret (until my next doctor’s appointment).

      I love you more!! 👸

    1. I am glad you love it! It was super fun to write. If you write a list, please let me know. 😁

    1. Hello, Toasty Critic! I probably should have called it “TMI at 43”. 🤓

      The baby tooth thing is odd. Even odder? My dentist at the time also had a baby tooth he never lost. Not fake news!!! 😁

  11. I definitely want to do this for my 30th birthday in August!

    Here’s a few sentences from me:

    1. I was born in New York City.
    2. I’ve been to Florida more than 100 times in my life.
    3. I had the opportunity to visit Moscow, Russia when I was 12.
    4. I had braces twice.
    5. I’ve never had a cavity.
    6. My all-time favorite movie is Forrest Gump.

    1. Yay, Laura Beth!!! I think that would be super fun to do for your 30th!!

      Wow! Braces twice????

      And can you and I be like peas and carrots? 😀

      1. Definitely! I already write a “Reflections on my Birthday” post every year, so I’ll just add to it.

        Yep! Second grade, and then fifth-seventh. I had my original retainers until 2014.

        Yes! Peas and carrots! We went to the Bubba Gump restaurant on our honeymoon. All the waiters did trivia with their guests, and between Al and I, we got all the questions right!

    1. I am glad you enjoyed them! If you post “29 years in 29 sentences”, please let me know! 😀

    1. Hi, Eazy! What’s stopping you from writing the 25 Years in 25 Sentences post? I think you should go for it (but only if you would like to do so).

I am great at "talking back", so please comment away.

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