This is one of the most challenging blog posts that I will likely ever write. Tears are streaming down my face as I put my fingers to my keyboard and will probably continue to fall as I muddle my way through.
My puppy, my dog, my companion is in the final stages of her life, and it is a pain unlike any other that I have experienced. She's my longest relationship at just under 14 years of unconditional love.
My heart hurts and aches so much.
This might seem a bit crazy, but I wanted to write this post just before she passes so I can read it to her. I know she won't understand me, but I just want her to know how much she now and always will mean to me. From the bottom, top and sides of my obliterated heart.
The day we met I knew you were meant to be with me. You were a little moppet of apricot-colored fur. When I picked you up for the first time, you nestled into my neck and gave a puppy sigh. It was love at first sigh. And you quickly became mine.
The shop had named you “Raggedy Ann” but I hated the name, and I think you did, too. You became “Jolie.” Most people think you are named after Angelina Jolie, but you were named after the French word for “pretty.” Even though “Brangelina” wasn't a thing when I got you, I have always been #TeamAniston. But I know you know that because you and I don't have any secrets.
You loved your original Dad and me immediately. And when the OG father and I went through a divorce, I followed my Mom's advice, “Make sure you get the dog.”
It was the best advice I had during that tumultuous time. You were my safety net and my comfort zone. You made me smile when the rest of my world made me sad. Coming home to your wagging tail and dog smile saved my life.
Over the years, you have had a few “Dog Dads,” but you have never loved any of them the way you love Jared. And he loves you so much, too. Thank you for not being a total doggie dick when it came to meeting new people in my life. You were always open to meeting and greeting new people (and loved to lick them, you little weirdo).
Do you remember the time we both wore Snuggies and you composed a Facebook Photo Album of your experience? It was many years ago, but you can check it out here
And you were always up for shenanigans and allowed me to put you in ridiculous outfits. Secretly I think you might be a doggie fashion blogger. Is your blog named “My Fashion Game is the Shih Tzu”?
You loved Doggie Daycare but were always so happy to come home. The Daycare place once put a sign on the door that you weren't there but thankfully were just kidding. Everyone that has crossed your path adores you.
I never imagined that a heart that is broken could be so full of love. Jolie, you are and always will be a love of my life. I am so thankful for that day I spotted you in that crib with the bulldog and those two a$$hole poodles. Even though you are here with me at this very moment, I am getting prepared for you to cross the Rainbow Bridge. I hope your next home has Greenies, Chewy Vuitton toys, ice cream and comfy blankets. And I hope that I get to come back to you someday, Jo-Lo. I love you.
Laurie – Your Human Mom